Season 1
42 Minutes

Ep. 17 | Alisa Alexander | When We Fill Our Cup First

Alisa Alexander, 53, is the quintessential performer. Alisa is a motivational speaker. A recording artist. A woman of faith. And she is a consummate expert in the professional development field.
For the last 16 years, Alisa has worked in the Corporate Headquarters of the iconic Mary Kay Cosmetics. Alisa creates and hosts events that empower, celebrate and uplift a global workforce of over 5000 women in every part of the world. Mary Kay's work celebrates the power of entrepreneurialism and our ability to chart new ACTS at any stage in our lives, no matter the circumstances.

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Alisa Alexander  00:00

I’ve been called on to sing at more funerals between 2020 and 2021, than any other year in my life. And I found myself at the end of that season in my car. The best way I can describe it is is feeling like fragile glass that was falling apart, using my gift in a way that empowered others that strengthen others. That was a source of healing to others, and yet in that moment, needing healing myself.

Achim Nowak  00:37

Hey, this is Achim Nowak, executive coach and host of the MY FOURTH ACT podcast. If life is a five act play, how will you spend your for that? I have conversations with exceptional humans who have created bold and unexpected for that, listen, and to be inspired. And please rate us and subscribe on whatever platform you’re listening on. Let’s get started. I am so happy to welcome Alisa Alexander to the My fourth act podcast. Elisa is a woman of many gifts. She is a consummate expert in their professional development field. She is a motivational speaker. She is a recording artist, and she is a woman of faith. For the last 16 years at Lisa has worked at Mary Kay cosmetics corporate headquarters, where she empowers and inspires, celebrates and uplifts a global workforce of 1000s of women, at least when I first met over 20 years ago when we were each in different acts of our lives. So how do you choose your next act when you have many passions and travel in multiple lanes. I look forward to discussing this and so much more with you, Alyssa. So welcome.

Alisa Alexander  02:04

Thank you so very much. I’m so excited to be here today.

Achim Nowak  02:09

Just we’re recording this on video. So I get to see your beaming face, and I’m receiving positive energy, which our listeners will hear through your voice anyway. I love it. I love it. Let’s start with younger Elisa. Because I’m always curious about what what your dreams and aspirations were when you were a young girl or teenager? What were you thinking of at that time in your life?

Alisa Alexander  02:35

Wow, what a great question. Because when you ask that, immediately, it puts me back in my childhood man with all the flowers and the teenage posters and and and the first thing is that I see is I see myself standing on the side of my bed with all of my dolls and all of my stuffed animals. And let me tell you what I was doing. I was in front of them singing my heart out, right in my heart out. And when I wasn’t doing that I was directing them as if I was directing a choir. Right. So when I think about little Elisa, those are the first images that come to mind. And then when I began to grow and develop a little bit, and I really recognized and saw the power of a voice and a message, I wanted to be in a courtroom. I toggled between wanting to be in a courtroom as an attorney or wanting to be on television. As a newscaster. I thought that sitting behind that desk and standing in front of that camera, what power what power and the power that it had to change me at the time. Oh my goodness, I was absolutely enthralled by the look of it, the feel of it. And I just wanted more and more and more. So I watched as much television as I could so I could get those images. I thought that was so powerful, so powerful.

Achim Nowak  04:04

Well what I’m getting is number one you wanted to be seen and heard and you wanted to use your voice to influence situations. Yes. And as we talk a little more about your life that is actually what you have created maybe it didn’t look the way you thought it might as a young girl right. But before we get to that when you mentioned the the the pro posters on the wall I wanted to know so what was on those posters? Elisa? Can you give me a little snapshot?

Alisa Alexander  04:34

Oh, without a doubt Michael Jackson Are you kidding me? was off the wall? You know it was a bit of a competition was it Michael Jackson was a print and dependent upon the day it was one the other are both so on those posters was definitely Michael Jackson. Definitely Prince. I just thought it was amazing. Just absolutely amazing. I love that. hair. I love the look, I think for most people my age, you know exactly what poster I’m talking about.

Achim Nowak  05:06

Of course.

Alisa Alexander  05:08

All three of those images Beverly Johnson, I had a picture of her of Beverly Johnson out of the jet magazine, my family loved to read loved magazines. And so we got the Essence magazine, the evany magazine, the jet magazine. And so in the jet magazine was a beauty of the week. And I remember one week that Beverly Johnson was the beauty of the week had to tear it off, had to put it on the wall. So those powerful female images, those amazing singers, performers, and entertainers, all over the world, I came out with a problem.

Achim Nowak  05:44

Thank you for those specifics. And we are dating ourselves. And I’m having the memories that you’re evoking in me, which is beautiful. Yeah, yes, I want to spend most of the podcast getting to what’s emerging for Elisa today, because this is this, this is a podcast about next acts and transitions. But before we go there, you’ve done some very cool work. And I just love you to give our listeners a snapshot. So I’m gonna break it down. And let’s play Can we start with the singing? If you think of a moment, as a singer that goes, Yeah, this is why I love to sing. But the second part also, this is a moment where I find singing or singing in front of people as singing professionally challenging or frustrating, because every light tends to have a shadow and give us the light. And also give us the shadow, if you would.

Alisa Alexander  06:47

Absolutely. So what I think about powerful moments of mixing probably one of the most powerful moments of mixing would be singing at the American Airlines center, I had an opportunity to sit to stand rather on that stage, and to sing. And let me tell you the shadow, I didn’t know it was going to happen until it happened. A director came over to me and said, We need this moment. I know I didn’t tell you about it. But would you be ready for this moment? Could you stand in Could you show up in this moment. And the little girl who had been in front of the stuffed animals and in front of the doors, had to shake off all of her fear, and stand in that moment in front of 1000s and 1000s of people and saying that I found my voice, you know, no, it wasn’t the voice of the attorney. But my voice the shadow is well, I can’t help but to talk about 2020. And the person who loves to sing and has used my voice to sing and to minister to others and faith field way. I’ve been called on to sing at more funerals between 2020 and 2021. than any other year in my life, I found myself at the end of that season in my car, the best way I can describe it is is feeling like fragile glass that was falling apart, using my gift in a way that empowered others that strengthen others. That was a source of healing to others. And yet in that moment, needing healing myself and got on the phone with a friend and just we just kind of talked through it talk through it. And what I found was healing to me. I came was giving my voice back to myself. Singing at home, singing in quiet spaces. And and given that healing that I was giving to other people giving it back to myself. Yeah, I got okay.

Achim Nowak  08:49

When I first met you, you were on a different stage. You were teaching a class in front of an audience. Yeah, I come from theater. And even though it’s not quite the same, being in front of people, is an energetic high. You know, and many performers, many public speakers can experience that loneliness afterwards, when you go home when you’re on the road, you go to the hotel room, or, and you know you you’ve given given given given and there’s little left for yourself. Yes. So can we go a little deeper with this? What I heard is you nurtured yourself by singing to you and not to Yes, but how else do you take care of you? When you’ve been giving, giving giving, which is I think part of what you do.

Alisa Alexander  09:38

It’s absolutely what I do. And boy, what you just described that just rang so clear, so deep for me because when you spend your life, anyone who’s in a helping profession knows exactly what you’re talking about. When you spend your life pouring and pouring and pouring and pouring. Let me tell you one of the things that helped me it was a quote by Susan Taylor Who said, fill your cup first before you feed others with the and feed others with the overflow. So fill your cup first and feed others with the overflow. And I think the reason I ended up in this situation that I ended up in, in 2020, with the funerals is that I was so busy. Do you mask me not master you vaccine, I have a virtual student at home, do I have enough toilet paper, you know, the whole panic or toilet paper? You know, by giving it and I have a 78 year old mother who lives with me. And honestly, my primary goal for the pandemic was making sure my mother got to the other side of it. Right? That pressure and that stress and giving and giving and giving. I found myself depleted. I am more healthy when I use that quote as an axiom for my life, when I feel my cup first. So your question is, how do I do that? One of the things that I do for me is I give my gift back to me, as I was mentioning earlier, there are times that I think just for my own joy, my own replenishment, my own bliss, it has nothing to do, because because here’s the thing when you sing or when you teach, very often you’re doing everything you’re doing on someone else’s agenda. You didn’t choose the song, you didn’t choose the lyrics, you didn’t choose the when the where the how, right. And so I found ways to give it back to myself. And another thing that I’ve done in this regard is I came at this stage of my life, I have decided that anything I do for anybody else, any other organization, I got to a point where I asked myself, do I own any of my microphones? Do I only do what I do when someone else gives me an opportunity to do it. So one of the ways another way rather that I feel myself is by doing the it whatever it is on my own terms in my own way. And when I share myself that way, it fills me up. Now of course I do all the other things that all of us need to do. I take the walk, right I drink the water I my my business, right?

Achim Nowak  12:08

Really You mind your business,

Alisa Alexander  12:10

I’m on my business plan on my my big break my water I hydrate, you know, I read a faithful person. So I sent on myself and and when I do all of those things, then it is easier for me to give myself away to somebody else. Yeah.

Achim Nowak  12:28

Amen. I mean, it just makes sense. A word from your sponsor. That’s me. I invite you to go to the website associated with this podcast fourth, you will find other equally inspiring conversation with great humans. And you will also learn more about the my fourth act mastermind groups where cool people figure out how to chart their own fourth acts. Please check it out. And now back to the conversation. For the last 16 years, you’ve been with Mary Kay cosmetics and the corporate headquarters. It’s an iconic place Mary Kay, isn’t that conic woman? We already know from what you said you’re a giver, and you’re an inspire. And you’re in a playground where you get to do that for a living. Give our listeners a scale of like how large is the Salesforce? How big are these events that you are curating and hosting for women all over the world?

Alisa Alexander  13:38

It’s 1000s and 1000s and 1000s of women. It’s an international company. We are not your grandmother’s Mary Kay. So when Mary Kay got started, September of 1963, right, 58 years ago, we were a small company founded in Dallas, Texas. Now we are very literally all over the world. One of the things that that I do for Mary Kay is I add I organize and a strategic events, right from an educational perspective. And I get to be the educational architect for any number of events for our Salesforce. One of the things that I just I love to do, it was a absolute educational playground for was to organize education for our 50th that happened in 2013.

Achim Nowak  14:28

I’m sorry, I didn’t get the education for…

Alisa Alexander  14:31

THe  50th anniversary.  our 50th anniversary. And so my classroom was 30,000 people. And I’m not talking about 30,000 people virtually, I’m talking about 30,000 people live in the Dallas Convention Center and just planning education for them. That included what was revolutionary at the time, a social media, just lots of different things that that got engagement because we know how important engagement is in learning So that people aren’t just sitting back watching it like watching a movie. But instead in our acting, learning, giving feedback, it was amazing. And so I do that kind of thing. Because we are an international company over the last years. Another experience that stands out, is organizing an international leadership development conference for our newest national sales directors, they have to understand in the world of direct selling, and in the world of Mary Kay, a national sales director is someone who has climbed all the way to the top of the career path, so organizing education for them. And in particular, this conference for them was like coming to a meeting at the UN. Right. And so it’s women, mostly headsets, right from China, from Kazakhstan, from Mexico, I mean, on and on, and on, and on countries just all over the world from the United States, of course, mostly people with headsets, boots in the back of the room. And yet speaking one universal language of enriching women’s lives, I’ll never forget, organizing activities for them to, to speak out and to share team building activities, where everyone in the room, despite all the different languages is in tears, right? Because there was one language in the room, and that was enriching the lives of women. So it’s been amazing. such a fun experience.

Achim Nowak  16:24

One thing I’m curious about, because this is the fourth act podcast, and I realize that there are some women at Mary Kay, I would imagine who are in their fourth acts, and they’ve been doing this for a really long time. Can you give us a snapshot of how long some women do this, and how you how you celebrate that kind of longevity, and that kind of success?

Alisa Alexander  16:50

Literally, and it’s so amazing that we’re having this conversation right now, this very week, I was a part of a process, my heart really is for making sure that we make space for all the generations, right for all of the others. And instead of forgetting about this group, I think we as a company really embraced them. And certainly I embraced them, I was so excited to be with four ladies who have had their Mary Kay business for over 40 years, like keep your magic. And the ladies in the group is actually celebrating her 49th year. So 50 years in a company that’s only been around 50, or only I say, but 58 years, right. So the nearly the majority time that we’ve been around the ladies I interviewed this week, they’ve been a part of the experience. And as a result, they knew Mary Kay, they learned from Mary Kay, they picked her up from the airport, they were in her home, they received her training one on one, one of them told me this amazing story about being in Mary Kay’s office. And this was right before Mary Kay stroke, where she wouldn’t speak again. But being in her office, because we were celebrating, you know, a really big milestone with the company. And looking at her desk and seeing that Mary Kay had completed, there was a certificate of completion of education for technology, because Mary Kay didn’t want to have to depend on someone else to get the reports, right, so to speak. And so she at this fourth act in her life, goes to school gets their certificates. Right? Isn’t that amazing? Yes, we were having that that conversation in the backdrop of 2020. And in from the context of, it doesn’t matter where you are, whatever stage you are in life, one of the great Mary Kay quotes is school is never out for the Pro, never app, never out for the Pro. The things that she said was if you’re green, you’re growing. And she also said, if you’re right, you’re rotten. And so is that we never stop evolving. Another event or opportunity that I’ve had with the organization is to organize something that I’ve called One last thing before I go, our national sales directors that I referenced earlier, do have to retire at a particular age, right? You know, a woman of a certain age, you know, we wanted to call it one last thing before I go so they can share, right? They can share their stories, they can share their powerful quote, their powerful teachings, but also the teachings of Mary Kay. And I just think that’s the most important. I think that there are few companies that really embrace their founder the way that Mary Kay does. She’s not just a poster on the wall or a name on the building, but her legacy is alive and well. And so it’s been it’s been amazing for past years to be able to do that, to encourage that legacy, make it live and make it brief for younger generations.

Achim Nowak  20:07

So what have you personally learned about, about life about what it takes to be successful about what matters from being in this environment of women that are thriving? And that has a strong cultural legacy?

Alisa Alexander  20:27

I’ve learned so much. But for the purposes of our conversation, let me boil it down to this. One of the things that I’ve learned that stands out so clear to me is that success, it doesn’t have a look, that success doesn’t have an age, that success is not wrapped up into one package. If you were to look at our magazines, if you were to look at our television, I remember being a kid getting so excited, because I saw black people on TV. You know, and I think to some extent, we’re still coming out of that as it relates to various arenas. But Mary Kay has reaffirmed for me, but let me explain it this way. I’ve been at retreats, where I’ve seen women say, I started with the product, because I used it to cover scars from domestic violence, right? I’ve seen where and seeing those women become successful. In our organization. I’ve seen women who were cleaning hotel rooms, yeah, hitting hotel rooms, I’ve seen women, especially women from various countries, who very literally have changed the trajectory of their lives because of the opportunity for entrepreneurship. And I’ve seen them make it a family business. So that is what’s so cool to me is that entrepreneurship is not just hurt Mary Kay’s family, but these women have truly made it their family business as well. So you’ll find sisters, sister in law’s daughters, you know, the grandchildren, all of them, I can tell you where I see him in my mind right now at least three families where the grandmother, the mother and the daughter all have American business. But this is what I’ll say as well, friend, is that whether a person comes into this experience and does it for a season, or whether they do it over the course of a career. I think having a business learn whether you have a Mary Kay business or not learning how to manage your finances is a life skill. Oh, yeah. Well, there are women who are, right. So there are women and even men that are coming into this experience, learning this skill, learning other skills as well to have the confidence to stand up in front of people having the confidence to hear the word know, and keep moving. That’s huge. That’s huge. And so what have I learned from Mary Kay is that success. It just reaffirms, for me because I’ve seen it, that success doesn’t have a look, it doesn’t have ethnicity. It doesn’t have a particular package. These women are like a beautiful bouquet of flowers. And I’ve seen them rural, I’ve seen them urban, I travel a lot for retreats, and whatnot. And so I’ve gone to places in New York that for me feel like the Bahamas, right? Because everyone in the room, you know, has that beautiful, beautiful accent. I’ve been asked to go to the woods of Mississippi, where everyone has that beautiful axe, right? So there isn’t a prototype for success. But we all at any age, and at any stage can hear the call of leadership and respond to it.

Achim Nowak  23:37

Perfectly transition to you, Elisa Alexander is part of going through stages and life is I think for ourselves. We revisit and redefine what success means to us. So I heard you talk about how success is created within the culture and framework of Mary Kay. But especially for you as a woman who has many gifts and talents. And I’m sure you hear voices all the time where people say is why don’t you just do singing full time? Or you should be in the church full time? Or what are you doing doing all these training programs, you’re wasting your talents there? So how do you define so let’s start with how you define success for yourself and follow up is how do you juggle these voices from others and within yourself as you chart your own course.

Alisa Alexander  24:32

I liked the fact that you you use the word voices because I want to go back to the little girl in the in the in the bedroom right. With the Hutch and all the posters on the wall. I absolutely think you nailed it that while I’m not doing some of those things in the way I thought I would. The goal in that moment, or the the thread that’s tied to that moment was finding my voice that I wanted To have an opportunity to use my voice to share my voice. And so there was a time that I sounded like those inner critics that you just referenced, thinking that you’re right. I can’t, like I can’t sing right in this environment, or I certainly have to hide that part of myself that I’ve seen that, that anytime I was in a particular lane that I was supposed to drive in that lane and that lane exclusively. And one of the things that helped to break that mentality off of me, honestly, was the last 15 or so years, being a part of the Mary Kay family, Mary Kay loved music. In fact, we have eight Mary Kay choir, and I’m one of the directors of that choir. Nice early years that Mary Kay, I didn’t want to be a part of that. Even though I could sing, even though I’m a background singer on any number of recordings, right professional recordings that you can get right now. I’m all over the place, the people that much I’ve had no idea. Let me tell you changed me. There was a week where I had to operate in all of my lanes within about three to five days. I can’t describe it except to say, finally, the lightbulb went on my aha moment happened. And so I’m up, I’m up in front of an audience. And I’m teaching and I’m giving it all I have. And in in one moment, the teaching point that I wanted to share, it sounded so it was like I could hear the song just booming in my head. And so I suck it for the first time in a professional environment. Right. So decorum and professionals, I sung in that moment, the teaching point that I was wanting to get over. And the response was phenomenal. The response It was absolutely, it was as if I had brought all of my cells together. Now let me tell you what else happened. Within a couple of days, I was standing in front of an audience of 8000 people or more singing, and we got to the vamp in the song. So avantha song is what happens at the very end, you repeat the same in a gospel song where you repeat the same thing, your background is repeating the same thing over and over. And as a leader of that song, you punctuate it by singing different things, right, by really making the vamp of the song come alive. You know what happened. In that moment, I thought about some things that I was teaching just a couple of days before that were so relevant, and connected to what I was singing. And so I didn’t say them, I sold them. The things that I was saying just a few days prior to another audience, I now started singing in front of an audience of 1000s. Guess what I was at my best. I felt my my all of my cells had come together. And I haven’t changed my mind about it. Since I would say to anybody, we have to bring our whole selves to the party. I was I was post much post 40 before I figured it out. That that all of us that every one of us, you know, we’ve been doing this teaching about multiple intelligences for years, nothing about it. Right? We we have all of this stuff going on. And for anyone who criticizes that right? Or thinks it’s inappropriate, guess what the first thing I would say is I have found for you, what I have found is that I am more embraced by bringing myself my whole self to the party. And sure we’re going to have some detractors. But I haven’t found that to be the norm. I am I personally am more confident when I bring my whole self in. And I believe that I’m more embraced as well.

Achim Nowak  28:51

My sense is also that when you talk about bringing your whole self, we talked about voices, but part of what I’m hearing is you trusting the voice insides that guides you to trust your instinct at the moment. Yes. And I do think that’s the voice of God, the voice divine. And I believe in different people listening will have different faiths and different relationships to this. But how do you in your everyday life? Follow the voice of God or the divine? or whichever way you define it. I think you gave us a glimpse already. But but that’s part of the wholeness, isn’t it?

Alisa Alexander  29:31

Absolutely is and let me say this is one of those weird times where friend I think it would be easier for me to say what it’s not. When I walk into a work environment. When I walk into a training room when I’m leading a group of people or when I’m leading a project, what it’s not is proselytizing, right. That’s what it is for me. It’s not walking in with a flyer or a pamphlet, right? It’s not running a revival at a business meeting. And what it is for me instead is having a god consciousness and being faith filled in everything I do, right having a God consciousness and being faith filled. I’ve been doing some study, for some reason I feel very pulled to Galatians, 522 and 23. And it says, but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control. When I walk in that way, right when I walk in, and I’m full of love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, right, self control, not only am I at my best self, but I feel like I level up the environment as well. The environment is better, whatever that environment is, whether I’m leading people, whether I’m leaving the group, my corporate culture is better when I walk into the space, keeping those gifts of the Spirit in mind. Just last week, I taught a Bible study and the name of the Bible study was free from worry, right? Free from worry, can we be honest, every day and the pandemic has been a day to ride the emotional roller coaster. So if I walk in, as one of the things that I taught is that if I can have, you know, the God consciousness that a bird has, you know, the birds are not concerned about. If I get out that kind of God consciousness, and be free from worry, and embrace peace, right, and peace, that I walk into that environment, not only am I at my best self, but my corporate culture is shifted as a result, one of my favorite principles in the Bible is the golden rule. Right? Do you want to others as you would have. So when when I bring that consciousness that I come in serving others write that guess I’m a leader in my organization, I’ve been a leader, but when I come in as a servant leader, that shifts the environment, and it makes me better. So that’s what it means for me to be a person of faith. Walking in all lanes is having that kind of God consciousness and faith filled focus.

Achim Nowak  32:08

Yeah, what I heard is an Hakim’s language, which is the same as fully be fully be love and peace, to the best of my ability in the moment. Yes. And be willing to be guided by a higher force. Yes. And it does change the energy where we are.

Alisa Alexander  32:32

Yes. Don’t we need more of that, when when? The chaos, the chaos, the chaos, you know, that we’ve experienced the turbulence that we’ve experienced, I just think we level up the environment when we bring our best selves, right, we shift the environment, when we bring that Fayetteville focus.

Achim Nowak  32:57

I want to ask you a little it’s almost a classic coaching question. I asked this my my C suite executives, yeah. But it’s in the spirit of the fourth act, and going forward, because your purpose and your connection to what matters is really, really clear. What are some things going forward that you might want to do more of? And what are some things you might want to do less of?

Alisa Alexander  33:22

Hmm, what a great question. Oh, my goodness. So tomorrow. Again, it’s important for me to maximize my gifts I feel most full. When I’m doing that, what I want to do less of its I’d like to stress less, you know, I wish I could say that having a faithful focus and being okay, cuz Oh, can we, you know, means that I don’t stress and I don’t worry, and all is well, and I’m singing every day and you know, the birds are chirping, the butterflies are flapping. Now, that’s not the case. What what you did say a moment ago, though, that really registered for me is that as I have evolved, and that’s something I want to do more of, I want to stay constantly in a state of evolution. I want to keep growing. I want to keep using my voice. So will music be a part of my future? Future me says yes, I constantly think about the future me looking back on me. And so the me today has to make decisions that will make her proud. And so I know that music has to be a part of where I am now. And it has to be a part of my well, teaching, sharing, leading leading groups leading people that gives me joy, joy, joy down in my heart, right. So that’s something that I have to have now and have to have in the future as well. But managing stress, managing anxiety, he just to be honest, keeping the main thing, the main thing. That’s what I want. That’s what I want. that some of the things that are staying very centered, staying very focused in the conference. I have my own voice. So important, so important, because without a doubt, it’s what’s gotten me where I am right now, the success that I’ve had, I feel like I have evolved so much in this fourth act, because I have listened. So just tuning my ear to really listen, listen, listen, and then not procrastinating, moving forward with everything that I hear. Yeah.

Achim Nowak  35:28

One question that always comes up, and I just want to test it for you. When we’re successful at something, we’re good at something people, people often measure successes, well, she or he is going to take it to a larger playground, you know, you’re, you’re going to reach more people, you’re going to sell more books, you’re going to do more CDs. And, and I’m quite successful. In many ways, I no longer care about that. This is but this is a knockin statement. But it’s, I had to reconcile my relationship to the traditional story around what impact should look like, right? What what it should look like, right? What’s your relationship to the sort of playgrounds you envision? Do you have visions for it? Does it matter? Does it not matter?

Alisa Alexander  36:21

Um, it’s so interesting that we are talking about this, because this is something that has been at the back of my mind, I can say, at least for the last two days, okay, divine that we are having this part of the conversation. I think it’s important as we continue to evolve to not connect success with results. I don’t, we don’t work full out. But we don’t play full out. But success, in my opinion, doesn’t look like a certain number on a bestsellers list, or a certain number of books sold, or a particular title. Success for me at this stage in my life is David, did I give it my all? Did I absolutely give it my all and and I feel like the other parts of that will come what’s supposed to happen, it’s supposed to happen. But I have to work with intention, right? I have to play with intention, I have to love my family with intention care for them. I have a 13 year old daughter, care for her and nurture her with intention and be less concerned about status, or numbers, or sales, or a particular title. What’s most important for me, I have a number of gifts. And what I want at the end of my life is to say that I maximized every single one, that I was the best wife that I could be the best mother that I could be the best entrepreneur that I could be that I served my corporate family in a way that impacted them and made a difference. Those are the kinds of things that make the biggest difference for me, and stand out in terms of what success looks like. That’s what success looks like for me.

Achim Nowak  38:08

So based on everything you just said. And I think this is influenced by by lifelong learning and get acquired wisdom, if you had a chance to be so the fairy godmother to young Elisa, who’s in her in her bedroom, and she’s looking at all these posters, they knew the future. And they could impart some wisdom to her, what would you say to her?

Alisa Alexander  38:29

Just now? Trust yourself. You have what it takes. Everything that you need to be successful. You were born with it. It’s not outside of you. It’s inside you. So trust it, and work toward it. silence your inner critic, silence negative voices that would tell you that you’re not enough. Not only are you are not, you are more than enough, you are more than capable. That’s what I would say to her to trust yourself and move forward and do it quickly. Hurry up. Yay. have a sense of urgency. How is the urgency? I believe procrastination is the thief of time. A word move forward. What are you waiting for? Sometimes procrastination is just dressed up fear. What are we so afraid of? And that’s what I would say to younger me get in a hurry about being the amazing woman that you are going to be.

Achim Nowak  39:31

That’s such a wonderful note to end on. I our listeners may may be curious about you. They want to learn more if they want to learn more about you Where Where would you send them?

Alisa Alexander  39:44

You’re so kind Thank you so much. Let me say first with this opportunity, what a blessing it is to reconnect and just to have this powerful moment with you. You are such a blessing to so many know that I have been on the sidelines cheering you On and to have this moment with you is absolutely invaluable. If you’d like to learn more about me, I love to play in the social media space, so feel free to check me out. I’m on absolutely everything. I’m on Facebook, I’m on Twitter, I’m on LinkedIn, I’m even on tik tok and Instagram. Right? So Elisa sample, Alexander or Alisa Alexander will take you to all those places where I am on social media. Not only that, but I have a website for inspiration and more. So I’d love to get to have you come visit me out there. And my website name is So feel free to check me out there. And I also have some other things that I’m working on. I’m working on a facilitators roundtable I came and I’m so excited about it, you know, we’ve learned so much about facilitation. And what I’ve noticed in this crazy season that we’re in is that so many people are picking up that mantle of facilitator, you know, the clubhouse, the brand new app that’s out there. And so their moderators everywhere, folks are going live less than right, and are facilitating conversations and helping people tell their stories. And so I’m excited about creating a space called facilitators roundtable where we’ll be giving some insights, some things I’ve learned along the way and encouraging us just to talk to one another and share all those gems that we’ve learned along the way as well. So that’s where my website social media space, all that good stuff.

Achim Nowak  41:35

And with the facilities roundtable I feel like we got another little fourth act preview from Elisa Alexander. Lovely. Thank you, my friend for being my guest that the website Elisa inspires couldn’t be more appropriate because you Elisa do inspire. So thank you for that. Thank you so much. Like what you’re hurt, please go to my fourth act calm and subscribe to receive my updates on upcoming episodes. Please also subscribe to us on the platform of your choice. Rate us, give us a review and let us all create some magical fourth acts together. Ciao


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